God has a sense of humor. I'm convinced.

There are no words. No words for what I spent my Saturday doing. This is my first, and hopefully only, shameless plea for sympathy. Traumatized doesn't even come close.

So Kelsey found this advertisement at school for a Yoga weekend. It would be relaxing and rejuvenating, and perfect right before our vacation to the Canary Islands on Tuesday. So Deanna and I signed up with her.

Saturday morning we wake up at 8 to catch the bus and head into this pueblo just outside Granada. No one is at the bus stop to pick us up as promised. So we call, but they're running late, so we kill some time.
TWO HOURS LATER. This car pulls up and this creepy guy in the back stares at us and makes this weird face like he's going to kidnap us. I looked at the girls and said "I'm not going anywhere if crazy eyes is the guy we've been waiting for".
Crazy eyes is the leader for the weekend.
But he says that we can't ride with him because his car is full, so we wait longer.
Raper van #2 pulls up. I'm not kidding. It's the big, white, offer you candy and take you van, with two guys driving that have the scariest raper mustaches I've ever seen. Here's our ride! They also tell us that we have to make a quick "stop" at a friend's house.
My heart stopped. Not to be a brat, but I'm not getting in that van. I will literally walk back to Granada.

Kelsey starts getting in the van! I think I need new friends.

I literally grab her, pull her out of the van, and told them we'll wait until they do their errands before we go. I'm at least not making a mysterious pit stop with them!

So we wait again. Other people showed up THANK GOODNESS and there were a few women who said they'd done this before and it was great. Sigh of relief. Ok, people have done this and survived.

This guy named Victor ended up driving us, and he was more of the fatherly figure type rather than raper type, so I felt better. We drive up the side of a mountain to a hut. A HUT.

There's about 10 people. And we're supposed to spend the night here. No sleeping bags, no beds, NO CENTRAL HEATING, no nothing. We'll worry about that later.

We start doing the "yoga" part. It's not yoga. We jumped around and danced and sang. We lifted our arms over our heads and moved them in circles. Seriously? I paid 20 Euro for this? For each step there's a different significance I guess. I didn't really follow everything, but I sure picked up during the dancing part, that everyone started taking off some layers. And one woman said "This is the part where we get naked". WHAT. Wait, WHAT?! No one did. But I was ready to just throw myself off the cliff if that happened.

Then we made lunch. They had 2 spoons and 3 forks. For everyone. They all shared utensils with people they didn't even know! If you had seen these people, you would be wondering what kind of contagious diseases they were carrying. Thank goodness we brought sandwiches, because I would have chosen starvation over sharing herpes with them. Fun fact, between all 10 people (excluding us girls) there were probably 20 teeth total. This is what we're dealing with.

The only reason we came was for this advertised "natural sauna". I don't know what I was expecting. But Kelsey said it was this great way to get all the toxins out of your body and stuff. We googled some pictures and it looked cool. I mean, it'd be cool to say I did it once.

So this is what I'm expecting:

This is what we got:













I wish I was exaggerating. I was ready to leave once I saw this thing but Kelsey really wanted to try it out so I stuck it out for her.

This guy starts telling us that the purpose of this hut is to find our inner self and connect with mother earth and nature and all this weird stuff. So we start by lighting the fire. Everyone sang to the "fire spirit" to light the fire.
Not happening. I moved as far away as possible and was not having any of this. Up to this point, it'd been weird but not straight up freaky. I'm waaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. Also, their wood was wet since it'd been raining all day. I don't think even a "fire spirit" can work with wet wood morons. I didn't even need to be a boy scout to know that.
Then they moved on to the rocks we're going to use. They said they were "spirits of the earth meant for this purpose only"... but I'm pretty sure they were just rocks off the side of the road from that rock pile over there. We did a rock blessing ceremony where we had to hold rocks to each direction of the earth while we chanted and a guy blew a conch shell. Again, I just dropped the rock and was super uncomfortable. The guy was talking about the significance of the number 7. Oh my gosh there was so much talking. I think I was offending some people because the lady next to me told me I needed to participate. Not happening.

Time to get in the hut. We brought our swim suits, and a few other people did too but there were a couple that just stripped. Yikes. This is too much.

Let me describe this hut. They piled blankets, tarps, and plastic wrap over this pile of sticks and dug a hole in the middle for the rocks. It had rained all day so the ground was mud, and there's no dry spots. So we're going to be siting in mud. There's 4 "sessions" of putting water on the rocks. Actually, "session" is too fancy for what this was. It was like 4 tortures. 4 buckets worth of torture. I don't even know what to call them. All day they had been cooking this vat of water with rosemary and thyme that they had picked from the "garden"... the side of the mountain, and this was the water they put on the rocks.

We get in the hut, get the rocks in, and they dump the water on. They get the steam going and I think I'm going to die. I'm sitting next to naked lady who is just loving life and I literally think I'm going to die. So I lay down and start clawing for air. Like I'm in straight up survival mode. Do or die. I find a hole and a stream of fresh air and start taking shallow breaths.

After round 1 I tell Kelsey I need to leave. Well she wants to stay for the whole thing. So I start making my hole bigger. More rocks. More water. I'm laying in the mud thinking to myself "Why am I doing this? Why am I voluntarily suffocating myself? Why am I breathing in weeds off the side of the road?".

Round 2. It did get easier. Actually, my hole just got bigger. Kelsey said to me "Try to sit up. At first you feel like you're going to die, but then it gets easier. You just can't take deep breaths."

There was a question everyone had to answer on this round. I think rock man was trying to make sure we were still alive. He asked us to describe our relationship with our father.

So since I had been listening to this spirit mother earth chanting stuff all day, now it's my turn. I had everyone trapped in this little hut with no where to go. So I told my story. I talked about how Jesus died for me and each of them, and how much God loves us, and how my relationship with him has changed and grown in my time in Spain. It wasn't long since I couldn't breathe, but I was able to share with them the comfort I had found in Christ. IT WAS AWESOME. It was one of the most empowering feelings I've ever had. I'm pretty sure I had tears running down my face, but it could have been a mixture of sweat and rosemary/thyme water.

I've been praying for the ability to express myself more in spanish. I mean, I can hold a conversation but I just don't feel like I'm comfortable enough with the language yet. After this, I think I got it. I shared my story in spanish, while suffocating, in the mud, with a bunch of hippies. Yea, I think I'm there.

Round 3. Round 4. After 3 hours of laying in the fetal position and hating my life we get out. FRESH AIR. WE SURVIVED. I heard people screaming outside the tent as we left and I assumed it was from the cold air. Nope. Rock man grabbed a hose and was spraying us off. I couldn't even scream it was so cold. I just gasped like a fish.

Inside we talked about the sauna. Everyone wanted to know how we liked it. I told them "Honestly, after the first bucket I thought I was going to die". Rock man laughed and said, "Yea, after the first bucket I thought you were going to die too." YET YOU LET ME CONTINUE THIS TORTUE?! THANKS A LOT CREEP. They thought that was soooooooo funny.

I realized we now have to spend the night. I've been sweating, laying in the mud, and slowly suffocating for the last 3 hours. There is no way I'm going to sleep here without a sleeping bag or a bed. So I went all stage 5 diva and insisted that someone drive us home. I feel kinda bad, but not really.

We got home. I took a shower to get all the mud and stuff off me and the steam from the shower started making me claustrophobic. I had to open the door of the shower to get through it! This is bad.

But I'm alive. If I don't have a perfect complexion as promised from this thing I'm gonna be even more mad. Kelsey is NEVER making the plans again. EVER.

Carnaval

I've heard of Carnaval in Spain. I knew it was pretty fun and I should try to go.

Holy Moly.

Carnaval is said to be the best and biggest party out of all the crazy Spanish customs... and Spain has a lot of parties. (It's actually celebrated all over Europe, but each city/county has their own "flavor".) It's the "season" leading up to Lent, so it lasts about a week and a half. Spain is mostly Catholic, and historically Carnaval was the time to get rid of all the rich food and get the party out of your system before Lent started. They did this as a community, so everyone would bring out the meat, sugar, fats, dessert and share it. It's literally a botellon/discoteca in the streets.

The celebration itself is like Halloween, but better. I wish we went all out like this in the states. There was not a single person who didn't dress up. I have never seen such creative costumes before! There were eggs, superheros, bees, every character of a movie you've ever seen, oh my gosh. I tried to take as many pictures of cool costumes as possible so you'll see. The theme for the costumes are satires of current events poking fun at the government usually. So there were many people dressed up as Obama. Haha. Lots of them dressed up as policemen, and I was wondering what would happen if an actual policeman had a job to do. Thank goodness they kept it under control. I have never seen such controlled insanity before.

Our costumes! Deanna and I wore the same thing in different colors.

Here's all 3 of us girls! Nizar (the boy that came) is taking the picture. 

So four of us from the Residencía where I live decided go to together. We got tickets and jumped on the bus to Cadíz- a city about 4 hours away.

We got to the city at 5 and people had already started gathering in the streets! We walked around for a while checking out the city and the performances in the plazas. The Cadíz Carnaval is also known for music. There were performances in all of the plazas, and most of the groups work all year on them. Again, the theme is to poke fun at daily life, politics, or events. We got to see a few, and they were really good- very animated and fun to watch. Also in the music realm, they make portable speakers and push them through the city. I'm not kidding! They had these contraptions on a cart that blared music and they just moved them from plaza to plaza!

One of the satirical music performances. It's just a stage set up in the middle of a plaza.

Then we decided to soak up the last rays of sun before the sun went down and it got cold! Cadíz is on the coast so we got to see the beach. It was beautiful! The city itself is actually gorgeous. Granada has a lot of historical stuff, but Cadíz is relatively modern. Too bad it's the #1 city in Spain for unemployment, followed by Granada.

The sunset was so pretty!

There were a lot of people out to watch the sunset too.

The coast.

We made it back into the city center where all the people started gathering. It was like, once the sun went down it was a free for all! The bars and restaurants closed so we couldn't use the bathrooms, but they had set up port-a-pottys (which were disgusting).

City center.

People started gathering before it was even dark!

There were thousands of people in this one plaza! The entire city comes out to celebrate. Moving was impossible.

Can it get more beautiful? Even with all the people, the city is amazing.

So in order to practice spanish and a desire to meet as many people as possible, we decided to find and take pictures with all the people with the coolest costumes... which turned into finding the most attractive men. BUT it was actually a great conversation starter and I talked to soooooo many people about their costumes, where they were from, what they studied/did for work, all sorts of stuff. And this was a total survival situation, I shamelessly solicited pictures for us girls :)

I'm not sure if these guys were clowns or painters?

Soccer player. He was one of my favorites! He was from Italy studying in Sevilla, Spain and he spoke a little bit of English.

Bees. The guy on the left is a massage/physical therapist, and the guy on the right is a doctor.

Superheros

Pilots. Honestly, this is epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. Wow.

It's a party from dusk till dawn, and our bus didn't leave until 6am! We were exhausted. We slept all the way home and then crawled into bed at noon. It was so much fun though, definitely an experience!

Granada Round 2

Well I made it! I'm sitting in my room, after a day of classes and craziness. And I'm loving life! It's so great to be back... I love this city. I love the smells, the view, the people, the food, the social life, everything!

So my trip back was eventful as usual. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep on the plane over! I was stuck next to this guy that literally expanded as he slept and in front of a lady who wouldn't let me put my seat back! I was upgraded (again) to have more leg room, which was nice, but more legroom doesn't help me lean back!

I got to the airport and since I couldn't buy a bus or train ticket online, I just had to hope for the best and get myself to the bus station. I walk outside and there's a guy with ALSA on his jacket (ALSA is the bus company that goes to Granada). So I run up to him and tell him I need a ticket to Granada and asked how to get to the bus station. He actually ended up taking me over to the kiosk, entered his employee information and helped me *try* to buy a ticket! It didn't work. The American credit cards don't like ticket kiosks apparently. So then he says, ok get on my bus and I'll take you to the bus station. FREE BUS RIDE! I didn't have to pay for a cab, or even the metro to get there! YES.

We get to the station, and he says, "Mmmm I can't let you leave without getting a coffee with me first." So he takes me to the employee coffee room and introduces me to all of his bus-driving friends, we enjoy our coffee, I get my ticket, and then he has to leave. Mind you, this guy had to be in his forties, but he was so helpful! I know my guardian angel is working overtime. Thank you for the prayers!

The 5 hour bus ride was pretty miserable, but I made it. I can't be too upset.

I think I'm going to have a lot more alone time this semester, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Actually, I do know. I'm not ok with it at all. I need a lot of interaction with other people. So if I seem a little down or frustrated, hopefully it's because I'm growing. This is going to be a stretch for me I think. As I learn and grow, you'll be doing it with me.

When I first got here there was literally NO ONE in the residencia. I was exhausted, hungry, and lonely, so naturally I called my dad and had a total mental breakdown. Great first day back huh? Then the other girls got back from the beach and they both said they did the exact same thing!
At least I'm normal.
One of the girls here put it perfectly, "It's like you made this long journey, and there's no one there to welcome you at the end. There's no one cheering here." It's a tough realization, but we're all in survival mode making friends like crazy.

Classes are great and I'm so ready for a schedule! Us girls are starting to plan our trips (cough cough Kevin and Granos, I'll be calling soon!) and it's so great to be back! I think I'm going to be teaching English too. My spanish is significantly better than when I first got here last semester. I definitely don't have the vocab that I want/need, but I can pretty much speak and understand fluently.

It's gonna be great :)